Winter Olympics, Gould Farm Style

As Shizuka Arakawa skated flawlessly to gold in Torino, as Sasha Cohen came in a disappointing second, as Bode Miller got disqualified right and left, and as China won their first Winter Olympic medal, the real drama was being played out in the Berkshire Mountains of Massachussetts…

The opening ceremony this year, Wed, Feb. 22, did not involve togas, but it did involve trumpets and a bonfire and a torch and a German “wolunteer” (couldn’t resist, Bastien) running around the pond. After that, the big news was that Tim won gold in woodsplitting and then came back to be quite competitive in partner sawing, winning a second gold with Edd. Between the opening ceremony and the wood splitting, there was a pick-up game of curling with brooms and logs on the pond. Evidently no winner was able to be determined.

Thursday was packed with events as Kevin and Matt swept the field in the “Fox and Socks” speed reading competition, coming in a full minute ahead of all the other competitors. Who knew that people’s tongues could go that fast. It was reported that their tongues were indeed numb at the end, requiring some special treatment from the medics on site. Also on Thursday were the Blind Seed Relay Pair Competition, akin to planting a garden blindfolded, and the Olympic Taste Bud Competition, in which competitors tested their knowledge of ingredients by tasting four kinds of Harvest Barn squash soup. Are we out of squash yet?

The Olympics then took a break for the weekend, resuming on Sunday with the Maintenence Iron Person Competition. It was reported that two kitchen folk were reminded of how they were not “cut out” for Maintenence men after coming in nearly last and both cutting themselves in the process. Too bad the only safety equipment they were required to don was on their heads… The medics looked at the cuts, looked at the burns the two had earlier gotten from the kitchen, took into account the high pain tolerance of kitcheners and shrugged.

Monday, the farm team sponsored two relays. The van pull required competitors to pull the Blunder Bus (there is speculation that it has more duct tape than metal in it) from one side of the tarmac to the other in teams of four, with one person steering the vehicle and drinking coffee and doing something else that reporters can’t remember right now. The other relay at the farm involved wheelbarrows and sawdust and pigpens. The same day at dinner was the chili cook-off, sponsored by the kitchen, in which Gould Farmers stuffed themselves on chili and then voted on their favorite. Evidently number five was only for the most daring of ingestors, as it was essentially fire in a bowl.

Today Olympics continue with the Roadside Store Pancake Relay, where teams of three appoint one person to make and flip a pancake, one person to catch a pancake on a plate from across the room, and one person to eat the entire thing. Knowing Roadside pancakes, reporters are agreed that all three jobs would be hard, but the last is perhaps the most strenuous. We will await the results with mouths watering. Administration is also sponsoring a scavenger hunt at one this afternoon. Stay tuned to find out who wins that event.

Tomorrow, the last day of the Olympics, a late-breaking event has been announced based on the constant fascination with those little number squares that has passed over the farm like an epidemic. Finally, logicians will have their moment in the sun (or snow, as it may be), putting their skills to use tomorrow afternoon during lunch. And then, on Wednesday, February 29th in this year 2006, GF Winter Olympics IX will close with awarding of medals. Stay tuned for the results.

(Contributed by the GFP)

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